Top Five Christmas Annoyances

A list by Brian McKechnie

It's not that I don't like Christmas - I like it a lot actually. Spending time with friends and family. Giving and receiving. It's great fun! And yet these five things make me want to crawl into a hole for the month of December and never come out.

5. The Mall

Going to a mall between December 1st and 24th is the most sadistic thing you can do to yourself. People immediately get stupid when they enter the mall. Shoppers wander around like zombies trying to get a gift that is cool and original. Store clerks can't figure out the cash machine/discounts/special offers (usually because they were just hired a day before the season started). Little kids scream and cry because they aren't getting everything they want. It is pure hell! Stay away from the mall and do your shopping online.

4. Christmas Music

Not all Christmas music is bad. It's just that all the stores play the same crap songs over and over until you want to go postal! You'll never hear Candy Cane Children by The White Stripes playing while you shop at the Gap, but you'll hear Celine Dion screaming Silent Night numerous times.

3. Office Parties

There are two types of Christmas parties your employer can throw - a nice one at a restaurant or a hall on a Friday or Saturday night, or a cheap one held in your actual office during work hours. The first kind is great, the second kind is lame, boring, and usually involves everyone bringing a food item (which always has one dish that gives you the runs).

2. Money Solicitation (aka begging)

Any major city in North America during the Christmas season looks like a homeless convention. Sad thing is a majority of the beggars at this time of year are not actually homeless - they're scam artists with houses and cars looking to make some extra cash. On top of that, every charity makes you feel bad for not supporting them (even if you gave in the summer). I'm sorry, but it's Christmas! I have no extra money to spare. Check back in the spring.

1. Santa

I realized the value in Santa was lost when I saw a wood carving of Santa riding a giraffe. What the hell does Santa riding a giraffe have anything to do with Christmas? The mall Santa is another Santa killer. A creepy old guy who drinks too much scaring kids? Yeah! That just screams Christmas spirit. Santa is nothing more than a marketing shill these days and I say let's forget about him.

Creepy Santa

Photo from Flickr user gratiot

Comments

[Michael]

I'm finding this year there are less people in the malls...maybe online shopping is keeping them at home. YEAH! Worse than the malls is driving down streets near malls or in parking lots where people just walk where ever they want with no regard for the 2000 pound car coming at them.